Coffee and Cycling

Love cycling and drinking coffee? Then continue to read about cycling routes with coffee shops in Denver, CO and surrounding areas
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    • The road to recovery: A never ending journey

      Posted at 12:06 am by rianatheglutenfreevegan, on May 2, 2020

      After a traumatic event, there is always the inevitable journey of recovering. A journey of highs and lows, good days and bad days, better days and worse days. 

      Before I had children, I experienced my share of loss and pain. My high school friend committed suicide when we were 16. My only grandparent died when I was 16. In my 20’s  a group from our church was involved in a car accident that took the life of two of our youth group members… and then a couple years later a friend that I admired and loved dearly died in a freak car accident during a rally… and so life continues. As long as there is life, there will be death. It is the natural progression. We are born and given life. We live, and then we die. The Bible says we have 70 years, 80 if we are strong (Ps 90:10). But not all live till they are 70. It is not death that I find to be the most painful, it is the event leading to death that causes the most destruction and pain in some cases.

      When my grandmother passed, she was 80. She had a good life. She was a very kind lady who served God with her whole life. I used to visit her over school holidays and stay with her for several days. I have fond memories of times spend with her. When she died, I was extremely sad, and to this day, I miss her. But I do not think of her in sorrow or sadness. She had a full life. When I think of my friend Christo who died at 16, I always become very sad, because I do not understand his death. My dear friend that died in the car crash, all the questions, the why’s… As I get older, my questions have changed, and my ability to cope with traumatic experiences has improved… although it does not feel that way lately. Experiences in life prepares us for what is to come, and we learn coping mechanisms to deal with the painful parts of life. Or so I thought. 

      The road to recovery I am on now, however, is different from anything I have ever experienced, and I am not at all prepared for it. The emotions I have, the thoughts and questions and the deep sad pain that threatens to overwhelm me is very new to me, and at times it feels life threatening… Because it is not only my own pain I have to cope with… I see the pain and sorrow my little 15-year-old is struggling with after this devastating event. I see her not knowing how to process the loss of a friend. As an adult with some life experience and experience of loss trough death, I am not equipped to deal with a traumatic event such as a school shooting. I was not in the building when it happened, yet, I struggle with the event, and I have a very difficult time keeping my emotions under control. At first I cried every day, and now I cry intermittently, just suddenly overwhelmed by an enormous sense of loss. I try to hide my feelings and not show my girls my suffering, since it is different from theirs. I suffer as a parent, for the loss of a child, a pain no parent should experience. I cry because the future of innocent children had been stolen from them, and because we will never be who we were before this life changing traumatic event. I cry because I did not have the ability to protect my girls from this experience. I cry because I cannot make it undone, I cannot turn back time to prevent this. My little girl’s heart is so broken, and I cannot mend it. I cry because I see her pain and suffering, and I know my inability to wipe away her pain and make it better again. A Band-Aid and a kiss will not work this time. And so, we’ve been on this road to recovery for almost a year, yet it feels as if the journey has not started yet. It feels as if we are still standing at the beginning of the road. One step forward, two steps back. Prayer and counselling and more prayer and counselling. The road is never ending and the journey permanent. Will I ever make it through? Will my little girls ever recover completely from this event? I want to believe yes. As a child of God, with a firm believe that He is love, grace and kindness, I know that He restores, and He has a purpose and a plan… Does my faith feel real to me at the moment? No, it does not. But believing is not a feeling, it is a knowing. I know the truth and therefore I must trust and believe that this road will become bearable and the journey will become tolerable and we will rise up like the eagles and soar above this event.  And therefore I try. I try to move forward. For my children’s sake, I am trying to make this journey. Sometimes I just want to lay down and allow this tremendous sadness to sweep over me. I just want to close my eyes and stop resisting the pain and tears. But I fear if I go there, I may never get up again. I will persist and walk this road, and travel this journey 

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    • It really really hurts to be alive

      Posted at 1:50 pm by rianatheglutenfreevegan, on April 19, 2020

      I have not written in months. I have no creativity in me. I think the me I was has drained out of my body, tear by tear over the past couple months. 

      You see, my girls attend a school that are absolutely great… and still is great… but now it is different. It is no longer just a great school with an amazing different curriculum where nerdy and wizard like kids can be who they are and just be happy… Now it is a school that became part of a statistic, a school shooting statistic. 

      I love the school and its atmosphere. I hate to go there. My girls are really happy in the school, they fitted in right away, although that was not the case with the previous private Christian school. I want to put them in another school. I always drive my girls to school and pick them up myself because I love spending time with them, I don’t want to be close to the school location at all. I enjoy volunteering and spending time at school. I’d rather give money and never go to school again. The girls must go to a good school, get the best academic education they can and have wonderful social interaction with their peers. Homeschooling sounds wonderful, they can be in their rooms, home, safe…

      My life has become a contradiction. Everything I believe and stand for has become null and void, in a moment. I’m a Christian, I believe. I know that the Bible does not tell us as Christians we will be spared pain and suffering, on the contrary. But, where was God when a young man lost his life? Offering himself so that others could live? Why did God not blow life back into him, so that he could be a son, a student, a friend… have future…Why did God allow this heinous crime to take place? Have all my prayers over the years been in vein? 

      What makes us think that it is normal to make school children practice lockdown drills, and shelter in place drills ? Why do we anticipate a school shooting? And why do we think that gun laws and more security measures will prevent school shootings? How can we think it is normal to subject a little 5-year-old to these drills, and then have them evacuate a school after a shooting with their little innocent hands raised above their heads, to make sure they are not concealing a weapon? It is not normal.

      I do not blame guns for gun violence. Nor do I blame parents for the actions of their children, to some extent. No parent raises a child, to one morning wake up and take a gun to school and shoot his/her peers. Yet, as parents, grandparents, adults, friends, strangers, neighbors, acquaintances, we are responsible, because together, we are the society our kids grow up in. The real sadness I see, is our kids being the future. The parents of generations to come. What a broken world we live in. How broken and hurt must a child be to bring violence to his/her peers, to take the life of a friend, probably hoping to die during the act…

      And now? What now? The world continues to live, the drills continue, and everyone move on and say, it could have been worse you know, more lives could have been lost, quick response times… But what about the real cause of the actions? A broken world, a hopelessness in our world… I ask myself every day, if there will ever be a day again, that this hurt will ever go away. I hope it will, yet I think it will always hurt to be alive. 

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    • Following rules…. or not

      Posted at 6:27 pm by rianatheglutenfreevegan, on July 24, 2019

      Why is it hard for people to follow rules? 

      I was sitting at Starbucks downtown the other day. It was a beautiful summer day. You know the day: the ones where you are happy you are unemployed, and if you were employed, it was the day you sat at the window staring longingly out to sunny weather and people walking by in shorts with long cool drinks in hand, cyclist wearing the bare minimal and children playing in the South Platte river. I am obviously in the unemployed group, just hanging around and enjoying every minute of the outdoorsy weather. 

      Naturally, it is not all bliss as I describe. With the sunny breezy day comes the people that ignore rules, basic etiquette. The ones that lack the ability to not be selfish. The 2 gentlemen, probably not the right description for the two, across from me started smoking. One a regular cigarette, the other one of those modern huffing puffing things, which still constitutes smoking. My coffee started tasting like smoke, probably only my imagination, but still, it is my imagination. And the next thing I knew, I could do nothing but look at the two, thinking to myself, why are people so selfish? Why is it so hard to just follow the rules and allow others to be outside without being bombarded with the terrible smell of cigarette smoke? 

      I have never smoked in my entire young life, why on earth would I harm my body like that? It is not a natural thing to do. When you stand close to a fire and inhale smoke, it makes you cough. I bet it is the same when you start smoking? I always tell my girls, if God indented for you so smoke, you would have had a chimney on your shoulders and head with a healthy brain…. That is what my parents had told me, and I believed them, therefore, I have never smoked. I have never used drugs either, I have never seen the need for or that is has benefitted anyone using it…. I guess soon these to statements would belong to the minority of the population. 

      Of course, we live in a free world with a free will. And I am not trying to enforce my views or my rules on others. I am a rule follower. If I want to do something that the law prohibits me to do- which is very very very unlikely anyway- I would not do it, purely because there is a law saying I should not. My husband and I had a huge disagreement about a rule that our school made and enforced. The rule said you could only enter at a certain gate… which, I must admit, did not make sense. It was sort of one of those: Hu? You must be kidding? Moments. But it turned out they were quite serious about this rule. For me it is simple, it does not have to make sense for me to just follow it. It was a simple rule, but harmless. So, I did what I was told… My husband on the other hand said it was crap and he was not obeying a rule that did not make sense. It drove me nuts that I could not make him follow “the rule”.

      Just because we do not understand the rule does not mean we should not follow it. Unless it will be harmful to ourselves or others. In general rules and laws are made to protect, serve and maintain order. We live in the country of the free. Yet, I cannot sit and drink my coffee in peace, because some guy chose to ignore the sign on his table the prohibits smoking. Regardless of the sign, this Starbucks patio is a place where people eat and drink and have little children and dogs. Why should everyone be exposed to two men’s selfishness? Because it is not only not following the rules, it also sends the message “we are here for us and our comfort and to hell with the rest of you”. 

      Colorado law prohibits the smoking of cigarettes and vaping in public areas and areas of dining. And Starbucks prohibits it. Why did I not address the two gentlemen directly? Because I do not like confrontation, and why should my morning be ruined even further with a public dispute? I did complain to the Starbucks staff, whom immediately addressed the two gentlemen… Whom ignored the warning and continued in their ways afterwards. I weighed up the possibility of being sworn at and humiliated because of my request to stop smoking, and I decided that it was not worth exposing myself to all the terrible possible outcomes of my request…. And I guess that is why people like my live in a world where no one follows rules… 

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    • Amazing Medical Mysteries

      Posted at 10:45 pm by rianatheglutenfreevegan, on April 6, 2019

      Yes, it is a mystery to me how the American medical system works. I’ve been studying the system for a while. In fact, it is so mysterious, that I am doing my master’s degree on the American Healthcare system. And believe me, although I am halfway through the degree, I am none the wiser. I may actually even be more confused.

      I have a chronic iron deficiency. I’ve been poked, analyzed and examined by hematologists and doctors in South-Africa. I’ve been submitted to almost every test known to mankind and the cause for my chronic iron deficiency has never been identified. I lose iron mysteriously and cannot absorb iron through food or medication. I’ve been getting iron infusions since my 20’s. It just is what it is. Would I have liked to have it resolved and not spend a couple of hours every couple months in oncology on an iron drip? Of course, I would. That is why I went along with all the tests and being a lab rat so that my issues could be resolved. But it was not and for me to continue doing endurance type sport, I need iron. So, I go for my infusion when I need it. I know when it is time. I am tired, I am more irritated than normally, and my skin goes greyish yellow. In short, I am miserable and so is my family. (Family suffers when I am constantly irritated because I have no energy, and everything is overwhelming). 

      And here comes the BUT about the amazing American Healthcare system. I move to the USA with my stack of papers and doctors’ reports and letters about my inability to absorb iron etcetera. My doctor in South-Africa was kind enough to provide all the documentation so that someone in the USA could take treatment over and take care of me. 

      The first doctor I saw, felt there is nothing wrong with me, and since my hemoglobin is still high, I should be fine. Regardless the fact that my iron stores are close to being depleted and that I am slowly dying of the constant tiredness and being short of breath. He was not interested in all my papers and letters and the history of blood work that I had brought in. 

      The second doctor I saw as a hematologist too and she is my doctor to this day. Did she help me right away? No. My doctor in South-Africa had to contact her directly and explain to her why I was a patient who needed to be treated with Ferritin. I love my doctor in South-Africa. He wrote her an extensive report on my health and wellbeing. She has treated me with iron infusions several times now. And she has seen my blood test results several times by now. She is fully aware that whatever she puts into my blood, I lose it over a period of months. I show up with my greyish yellow skin, droopy eyes and bolding head- well to me it feels bold because my hair falls out like crazy when my iron drops. I often think by the time I address my iron depletion; my family are at the point where they would pay any doctor to hook me up with an iron drip. 

      Although I am always treated and feel better for a couple months after, I still have to insist on being treated. Yes, I can go without the treatment. I can wait until my hemoglobin drops and I have no iron left, by which time I would be very miserable, probably divorced and certainly not training anymore because I would not have the energy or the ability to transport oxygen to my muscles to perform. I am a unique patient and there is a bunch of research on patients with my particular iron store problem. Why is it so hard for some medical professionals to understand that having high hemoglobin, does not mean I am just fine? 

      And then there is the other side of the coin, which make the way healthcare works totally impossible to understand. There are all these doctors advertising about BioT, hormone replacement therapy. Do you want to feel like when you were 20? Well, we have the solution. It is your hormones. And we will fix it for you. Not even the doctor himself but is assistant will run a couple of blood tests on you, and then tell you: Although your testosterone is within limits, we can make it higher, it will help you retain muscle and make you feel better. And while we are at it, let’s put you on thyroid medication. Your thyroid falls into the limits, but you know when you were younger, the numbers are different. We can tweak things a little and increase your metabolism…. And on it goes. They do not tell you that it might damage your heart or that you will develop acne and all sorts of other issues that you did not have when you actually were 20!

      This is what I cannot figure out: I have a hard time to get the treatment I really need, a medical necessity for my wellbeing and staying well. But if I want to tweak my hormones and mess around with my health to feel 20, then I can pick and choose where I want to go. I can be harmed with no questions ask, as long of course as I pay for it, since not even insurance covers these feel like 20 again tweaks. But I have to become completely iron deficient, be anemic and run down before a doctor will treat me. There are years and years of data of my blood results. It is evident from the data that my body cannot retain iron. My iron stores become depleted regardless of the infusions. The infusions last between 6 and 9 months and then it is topped up again, before I get to the point where I am really bold and without hemoglobin. It is a win win. Give me the iron infusion in time and we prevent more serious complications due to my depleted stores. I think I am finally in a situation where my doctor knows it is what it is. 

      If only the so-called hormone specialist did iron too. It definitely would have made my life easier.

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    • Cyclist yield to pedestrians and horses…

      Posted at 8:00 pm by rianatheglutenfreevegan, on March 8, 2019

      As a cyclist predominantly, I can never understand why cyclists have to be at the bottom of the food chain, yielding to everything and everyone on the trails. Especially since the cyclists are normally going the fastest and are normally the most aware of what is happening around them. I also walk and yes, I have a horse too. But realistically, I think the people walking should he yielding to everyone else…. But then again, I guess that would mean that the walkers have to pay attention to what they are doing, which, is most often not the case. 

      Today for example, I had to brake and come to almost a complete standstill twice. Cycling along, I notice a gentleman in the middle of the trail, walking in such a way, I cannot pass. I announce my presence with a polite passing on your left… in other words, asking him to move to the right and stay there… where he should have been in the first place. He ignored it and stayed on the middle of the path. The second incident involved two women walking and doing what most women do well: talk and not pay attention. Again, from a distance, I announce my presence with passing on the left. They were exactly where they were supposed to be, but not knowing where people are going, I always, like most cyclists, announce I am behind them, and am planning to pass them on the left. The rules of the trails. The one looks over her shoulder at me and stops, I start to pass, when the other lady steps in front of my bike. Luckily, I have sixth sense that just senses these things a second before it happens. I swerve and brake while she profusely apologizes… 

      And then there are the other type of walkers that drives me nuts and really makes cycling unsafe. The social walker that walks around with earbuds. They have their heads in the clouds and their ears, oblivious to any sounds. In fact, they are just oblivious to other trail users. And then you have to dog walkers. They walk on the side of the trial… with the dog leash crossing the trail and the dog on the other side of the trail. As a cyclist, that is probably one of the most dangerous situations. If you do not see the dog, or the leash across the trail, that is a definite fall for you and most certainly some injuries and probably an injured dog. In my case, and injured walker too, since I am bound to hit something, and it will not be the poof innocent dog that had to walk with an ignored person. I often fear for the poor dogs, what their owners expose them to on the trails. How can I blame the dog if he makes me fall? He had not choice in the matter, he was put there, without a leash, by his owner who trusted him to know how to respond to a cyclist. 

      Of course, there are those who are so polite, who even leave the trail all together to not be in your way. Or they stop with their dog and let you pass. I salute those of you who are considerate. And there are many of you out there. I can honestly say the less considerate cloud walkers are less than the considerate walkers. 

      I obviously survived another day on the trails, since here I am moaning about the little inconveniences of life. They are little compared to what others deal with. And it just made me realize how fortunate I am if this is the only thing I have to complain about. 

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    • We live in an inhumane society

      Posted at 5:19 pm by rianatheglutenfreevegan, on March 2, 2019

      Yesterday I witnessed a man running over a puppy, and then taking off! I was out on my bike when it happened. Luckily, it was at the end of my ride, and I was already heading up my driveway. I did what any decent human being would do: I threw down my bike, jumped in my car and went to rescue the puppy! At first, I thought the dogs belonged to the walker that was present when it happened, but they did not. He was just a gentleman enjoying the nice weather who happened to be there when the incident occurred. He was kind enough to help me get both dogs in my car. And off to the vet we went.

      I have two reasons to be very happy the incident occurred the way it did. Firstly, I am happy that I was outside when it happened, because had I been in my house, I would not have heard the puppy’s cry when it was runover. Secondly, I am happy I was too far away to see the driver and because I did not anticipate him taking off, I did not think of taking a photo of his car. I know it was a man, since the walking gentleman told me. If I was closer to the incident, I probably would have pulled the driver through his window and really gave him a piece of my mind… or rather fist. Ugh, see that is why my husband wants to send me for anger management. 

      Reality is: he stopped, spoke to the walking gentleman and took off. He knew he hit the puppy and that it was alive, crying at the side of the road… yet he took off. What type of human being does that? I strongly believe if you cannot treat animals with love, kindness and compassion, then you most certainly cannot treat humans with love, kindness and compassion. It is just my view of course.

      Domestic animals rely on us to take care of them. They give us pleasure, love and companionship. They listen when we speak, they cuddle with us when we are sad, and they always wag their tails in the morning…. Ok, it might be because they know you are going to feed them, but still, they wag! And they never stop loving us, until the day they leave this world. Animals make this world tolerable and livable. I cannot imagine my world without my furry pets. Having no big black cat wake me up in the morning, because he is always hungry, or my little miniature Schnauzer watching TV with me when no one else will, or my ginger cat waking me up so that I would lift up the duvet for him to crawl under, or my Aussie/Collie mixed breed with her beautiful tail begging me to give her a piece of cheese in the mornings when I make school sandwiches. My world would be quite empty and dull without my 5 pets. Well, actually, I have 6 pets. I also have a horse called Sir Nugget. But no, he does not live in the house with me. If I had my way, he would have lived in the basement, but we can talk about that some other time. 

      Pets make my world go round and round. Humans tend to disappoint and hurt. They stop loving when they don’t get their way, and even break off friendships. I have never had a pet do that to me. 

      The short end of the story? The dogs should not have been out on the street I know. But as a pet owner I know escapes happens and as long as we own pets, pets will escape. The driver did not obey the 25 mile zone, I know because I heard the car speeding by seconds before the puppy’s cries. The driver should have taken the dogs to the vet, or at least the injured one. The vet’s office is literally about a mile from my house. It took 15 minutes of my time to pick the dogs up, take them to the vet and explain what happened. Yes, my day did not turn out the way I had planned it to, but could I live with myself if I did not take the puppy to the vet? No. I had to take him. As for the driver of the car: As I drove to and from the vet office, I scanned the neighborhood for the car. Even the driver of the car has something to be happy and grateful for: He should thank his lucky star I did not find him. It might have put him in hospital and me in jail. 

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    • Anger management versus self defense

      Posted at 9:12 pm by rianatheglutenfreevegan, on February 26, 2019

      A while back my husband suggested we sent the girls for self defense classes. Immediately, I was excited and thought since I am a girl, too it included me! I saw it as a mom daughters adventure and together we can learn how to protect ourselves and fight the enemy off. My dream was short lived. My husband gave me that look that he reserves for me. I am apparently the only one in the whole wide world that can make him angry, manages to annoy him beyond words and can make him scream… Truth be told, although this is quite beside the point, I have never heard him scream at anyone but me. Not the kids, nor the cats or dogs can bring him to raise his voice. I however, just need to leave the house and go to the mall or go online to my favorite friend Amazon. 

      Anyway, about the self-defense classes. He gives me the look and then tells me in his polite voice, that I am not included in the classes. Self-defense classes teaches people to defend themselves, not how to assault someone without getting hurt. I look at him, obviously not understanding what he says to me. I think it is wonderful to be able to defend yourself and if you need to apply the knowledge differently sometimes, the so be it. With a sigh he continues to tell me, his wife, the mother of his children, that I should rather enroll in Anger Management classes. He was concerned that if I went for self-defense classes, I might use my skills to sort people out… I was so offended, I could not respond. I do not have anger issues, I just have a little temper. And I have it under control, most of the time. Yes, I scream when I am angry, but it makes me feel better. I get it out in the open and then it is done with. I should point out though, that my screaming and getting it out in the open is reserved to my family. I have never screamed at a friend, and I will never scream at a friend. I did scream over the phone at the AT&T guy a couple months ago, but it was not my fault. If you have AT&T, you will understand why it drove me to screaming. I really do not like screaming, it hurts my throat and makes me feel inferior. I try to avoid it. 

      I did not join an anger management class, nor a self-defense class. I know when I am angry. I am angry when it is winter, and I cannot go for a bike ride. And I am angry when my house is not sparkling clean or my family does not keep things in its place. I am angry when people ignore basic traffic rules and I am angry when AT&T and any other company for that matter, is incompetent. I’m angry when I feel my time has been wasted. Does that mean I have anger issues and need anger management? I think that just makes me fairly normal and human and in touch with who I am!

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    • Obsessive compulsive behavior

      Posted at 4:17 pm by rianatheglutenfreevegan, on February 23, 2019

      Who decided that it is a condition to like things to be in the perfect orde? I like all the tins in my pantry to face the same way. I like to stick to the same routine day in and day out, weekly and monthly. It does not mean I have some disorder, right? I am just a very rigid person that likes predictability. And if all the tins in the pantry are sorted according to type and face in the same direction, then it is jut easier to find what you are looking for. And if my closet is color coordinated and my underwear and art supplies, then it just means that I like things organized and neat. And if I get upset when someone (including my family) interfere with my daily schedule or routine, or mess up my pantry and turn tins around on purpose,  then it is not because of some disorder, it is just because of my personality that does not tolerate change or interference. 

      I wonder who came up with all these little demeaning behavioral names giving nonsense. And to make it worse, it seems to me my family is totally into these so-called little disorders. A while back, my daughter was reading something online, and suddenly, she goes: Dad, I know what is wrong with mom! Naturally I look up, I did not know that there is something wrong with me. My husband puts his book down and looks at our daughter, and without hesitation, she starts reading this bizarre description. He nods and makes the appropriate sounds of approval. I want to scream “Hello, I am here too”. But I am obviously not audible and not one takes note of me.  I am sure this is what a one cell organism feels like when it is trapped in a petri dish or stuck under a microscope lens.

      And so, I was diagnosed, again. Only, this time by a 14-year-old and her concurring dad. I’m a specimen in my own home. I guess that means that my home is my petri dish. Obsessive compulsive disorder and another condition that has an even worse name, just because people breathing to close to me irritate me, and hearing someone chew drives me nuts, and just because my husband’s snoring drives me nuts, and the way people drive and ignore rules makes me angry and so on and on I can go. Does that really mean I have some condition? I think I am just an angry type person, who likes things to be done correctly and for people to follow rules, be considerate when eating and breathing and sleeping. IS that really reason to diagnose me with some disorder? To be honest, I was told many years ago by a professional that I suffer from OCD, but come on really? The biggest mistake I ever made was to sarcastically tell my husband what the psychologist’s conclusion was about the frustration I experience, Naturally, I never went back, because I was diagnosed wrongly. 

      On the flip side… Now, when I say stop breathing so hard, chew softer, sit still etc. I have an excuse for behaving that way. I have a medical disorder. It is out of my control. Sorry guys, sorry family. I was diagnosed with these disorders, remember. It is not my choice to be this way. It is a mental disorder… Medicine? You are kidding right? I am a health freak. I do not take synthetically produced little white pills from plastic bottles. Especially not the kind the pharmacist phones you about to make sure that you know they are addictive, and you cannot just stop taking them, you have to be weaned off them…

      Here I am. Happily me. With no worries in the world. Content. Yet, to some parts of society my perfect little pantry and perfectly sorted stuff, and consistent routines and love of round numbers, implies I have a disorder. I am mentally sick by some standard and I could get better according to that standard if I would only pop that little pill that would numb me and make me happy with disorder…. 

      Not today. 

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    • Coffee, bread and Jam

      Posted at 8:15 pm by rianatheglutenfreevegan, on February 19, 2019


      One of my comfort foods are bread. Not so much anymore since I became gluten intolerant, but still. My favorite breakfast is a slice of toast with homemade apricot jam and a cup of black coffee. 

      The coffee, bread and jam really have nothing in common. They just complement each other, and in my world, they naturally go together. People are like that too. Some people just naturally “go together”. 

      I have always been all about family. Family first, family second and family third. Whatever would please my family, would be the choice I make. For example, I love traveling. But I cannot afford to travel to Europe for a holiday and then travel to see my family in the same year. Therefore, I will travel to see my family instead… since I feel it is the right thing to do. If I travel for holiday, and then say I cannot afford to travel to see my family, then I clearly put my love for traveling and exploring ahead of my family. It simply implies that I love traveling more than my family. That I would place my needs ahead of spending time with my family… 

      Truth be told, my family and I are not like coffee, bread and jam. We just do not go together well. Do not understand me wrong. I love them dearly. My mom and dad are my save haven, and if I had the means, I would visit them very frequently. And we are like coffee, bread and jam… But that is where it ends. 

      My friends are my coffee, bread and jam. Through the years I have made wonderful friends that have become my family. We come from different world, have different views and experiences, and yet, we just naturally go together. I have seen families that are like coffee, bread and jam. And it always renders me a little sad, because that is what I want too. I also want family that goes together. It literally used to bug me and eat away at who I am, trying to figure out what I do wrong. Why can my family not also go together?  Honestly, I cannot tell you why. I just do not know. Do I need to know why? No, I don’t. I no longer allow it to eat away at who I am. I enjoy seeing family and have learned to take it for what it is. Spending time with family has the same feeling as having dinner with complete strangers that you took a liking too. You laugh, talk and spend a couple of hours together and then do not speak again until you run into each other again, by accident. 

      My family and I will never be coffee, bread and jam. But it is oaky. Just because we are blood relatives, it does not mean we have to be best of friends. The secret to being happy is not about family. It is about the coffee, bread and jam you have in your life. Appreciate those that goes with you. They are after all, your true family, your coffee, bread and jam. 

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments
    • Don’t be a hypocrite just because it is Valentine’s day

      Posted at 12:04 am by rianatheglutenfreevegan, on February 15, 2019


      I sat at a coffee bar today and watched people walking by. I have never seen so many men carrying bunches of flowers before!

      Sipping my coffee and watching them, I remembered when my husband and I first started dating. We started dating in October of 2001. And one of the first things I asked him was to never bring me anything on Valentine’s day….

      Why? Because I want him to think of me at any random time and bring me flowers or chocolates. I don’t want him to be influenced by a man made day called Valentine’s day or induced by the media to bring me flowers or chocolates. According to https://www.graphicmaps.com/which-holiday-is-the-most-expensive, 18.9 billion US dollars are spend on Valentine’s day. Why? Would you not rather your loved one bring you flowers or any gift on a random day of the year, just because that significant other thought of you? 

      Well, that is me. I want my husband to see something, feel something or just think of me at any random day or time, and surprise me with something. I dread the idea of expecting something just because it is in my opinion a money-making day. It is so commercialist, it has nothing to do with love. 

      In fact, Valentine’s day make hypocrites of us. We do what is expected of us, and not necessarily what is in the heart. Everybody else is buying flowers and chocolates today, so I have to do it too! Reality check. I did not buy my husband anything. We have been together for 18 years, and I have never bought him anything on Valentine’s day, nor has he bought me anything or taken me out to dinner on Valentine’s day. He knows that I would not value the gesture at all and would rather be quite disappointed in him for being so cheap.

      Valentine’s day is nothing but a commercial day and that is why industries love it. They advertise and have specials and almost make you feel guilty for not feeling it and participating. To my fellow anti-Valentine’s day mates- as the Australians would say- I salute you. Stay strong and buy him/her those flowers tomorrow or on any other day but Valentine’s day!

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments
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